Yesterday I had my last checkup.
I am still dilated to a 2+ and 75% effaced.
We scheduled an induction for Monday, December 1st.
I'm getting so anxious just to have her in my arms.
I'm still going crazy checking to make sure she's moving every 10 minutes.
The nursery is just about all finished, just a few shelves and drapes to put up.
I'll post some pics as soon as it's ready.
Is it weird that I feel kind of sad about not just having Emma anymore?
It's just been me and my little gal pal for 2 1/2 years and now it's going to change.
Don't get me wrong, I'm so excited to have two little girls,
but I'm so worried about Emma feeling left out.
Hopefully I will do a good job of making her feel like a special big sister.
Luckily I have Chris who is so good with Emma.
I'm sure she'll be even more of a daddy's girl these next couple weeks.
I really can't believe it's already here.
So crazy to think our little family of 3 is going to be 4.
One thing I've been thinking about a lot is my dad.
It feels so weird to know he won't be here to hold this new little one.
It brings me to tears every time I start to think about it.
My dad was always the "newborn" type.
He loved to just stand and rock all the babies and he was so good at it.
I have images in my head of him holding and loving Emma when she was still so tiny.
To get a little personal, Chris and I had started trying to get pregnant
last December, about a week before my dad passed away.
So when I finally got pregnant in March one of my first thoughts
was that the Lord knew my Dad would want to spend a little time with
our baby girl before she made her way to Earth.
It brings a little peace to my heart to know that she does know her
Grandpa Randy, she will always have that special little bond with him.
I feel such a mixture of emotions right now,
on one hand I'm so excited to have our baby girl, but on the other hand it is
coming up on the 1 year anniversary of my dad's death and my heart is still aching.
I still think of him a million times a day. I still miss his hugs.
I miss everything about him and just wish he could be here.
But here I am the day before Thanksgiving and I know I have so many things to be thankful for.
Here are some of them:
-I'm thankful that I had almost 28 years to spend with my dad.
-I'm thankful for my mom, Ambre, Josh and Colin and our closeness.
-I'm thankful for Chris and his unconditional love for me.
-I'm thankful for Emma and her innocence and imagination.
-I'm thankful for this healthy baby girl in my tummy.
-I'm thankful for my beliefs and knowledge of the plan of salvation.
-I'm thankful for all my extended family who are all such caring people.
-I'm thankful to all you bloggers who shared sympathy with me when my dad died,
and then joy in the news of my pregnancy.
Sorry this has been such a jumbled post. I'm a bit scatter-brained these days.
But thank you for letting me share.
I'll be sure to update if anything starts to progress with the baby.
I am still dilated to a 2+ and 75% effaced.
We scheduled an induction for Monday, December 1st.
I'm getting so anxious just to have her in my arms.
I'm still going crazy checking to make sure she's moving every 10 minutes.
The nursery is just about all finished, just a few shelves and drapes to put up.
I'll post some pics as soon as it's ready.
Is it weird that I feel kind of sad about not just having Emma anymore?
It's just been me and my little gal pal for 2 1/2 years and now it's going to change.
Don't get me wrong, I'm so excited to have two little girls,
but I'm so worried about Emma feeling left out.
Hopefully I will do a good job of making her feel like a special big sister.
Luckily I have Chris who is so good with Emma.
I'm sure she'll be even more of a daddy's girl these next couple weeks.
I really can't believe it's already here.
So crazy to think our little family of 3 is going to be 4.
One thing I've been thinking about a lot is my dad.
It feels so weird to know he won't be here to hold this new little one.
It brings me to tears every time I start to think about it.
My dad was always the "newborn" type.
He loved to just stand and rock all the babies and he was so good at it.
I have images in my head of him holding and loving Emma when she was still so tiny.
To get a little personal, Chris and I had started trying to get pregnant
last December, about a week before my dad passed away.
So when I finally got pregnant in March one of my first thoughts
was that the Lord knew my Dad would want to spend a little time with
our baby girl before she made her way to Earth.
It brings a little peace to my heart to know that she does know her
Grandpa Randy, she will always have that special little bond with him.
I feel such a mixture of emotions right now,
on one hand I'm so excited to have our baby girl, but on the other hand it is
coming up on the 1 year anniversary of my dad's death and my heart is still aching.
I still think of him a million times a day. I still miss his hugs.
I miss everything about him and just wish he could be here.
But here I am the day before Thanksgiving and I know I have so many things to be thankful for.
Here are some of them:
-I'm thankful that I had almost 28 years to spend with my dad.
-I'm thankful for my mom, Ambre, Josh and Colin and our closeness.
-I'm thankful for Chris and his unconditional love for me.
-I'm thankful for Emma and her innocence and imagination.
-I'm thankful for this healthy baby girl in my tummy.
-I'm thankful for my beliefs and knowledge of the plan of salvation.
-I'm thankful for all my extended family who are all such caring people.
-I'm thankful to all you bloggers who shared sympathy with me when my dad died,
and then joy in the news of my pregnancy.
Sorry this has been such a jumbled post. I'm a bit scatter-brained these days.
But thank you for letting me share.
I'll be sure to update if anything starts to progress with the baby.
13 comments:
oh, this is so sweet. brought tears to my eyes. i know your dad was in heaven bonding with his granddaughter. it's funny how he has a plan and things work out for the best in the long run even though we may not realize it.
i love how honest you are in your writing, and i admire how much you love your little family.
good luck with the birth and can't wait to see pics of the little cutie! Happy Thanksgiving
I am going to be sad having more than one baby too (one day). I love giving all my attention to my little girl. Good luck with everything!
good luck darlin...dinner @ Lacey's in dec...k!
What a tender post - it totally made me teary! You are so amazing. I can't believe you are getting induced on Monday! I will be thinking of you, I hope everything goes smoothly. How sweet that she was able to spend some time with your Dad before joining your wonderful family. Emma will do great - good luck with everything!!
That's just how I picture my grandpas with my (future) children. Thanks.
xoxo
what a nice post! Thank you for those thoughts...I dont think that was jumbled...maybe cause I know how it is to have two kids,and how jumbled my brain feels all the time...baby brain I call it! You will do so great with two, I dont know you, like at all, but from what i read on here you seem like such a great mommy, and I think Emma will do so great with a baby girl...but I understand what you mean when you say that you arent sure how you feel about it not just being you and Emma...I felt that way when my daughter was born...I was so used to just my son and I...but it just makes things that much better, and your capacity to love grows so much, it is amazing. I am so excited to see pictures of your nursery, and then of the baby! She will be beautiful!
That was all beautiful. Having just had my second, I can so relate to the many emotions you're facing. It's definitely a challenge going from one to two, but so wonderful too! Involve Emma all you can. Find every opportunity possible to ask for her help. Be patient with her. And praise her lots! She'll be fine. I was also worried about Chloe, feeling guilty, feeling somewhat sad at the thought of no longer just having HER, and even a little sad that my pregnancy was coming to an end. There's truly nothing like being pregnant. Everything you're feeling is normal, I promise!
Good luck! My thoughts are with you this next week as you prepare to bring another sweet spirit into the world.
I can totally relate to how you are feeling. Although, I didn't feel it until I found out I was pregnant with Oscar. I didn't realize how much it would change our family to have another baby. It used to make me so sad when Ros wanted me to hold her and I couldn't cause I didn't have much of a lap with Mo. Being that Oscar was such a surprise and Mo was still a baby, I was pretty depressed. My #2 and #3 were boys and that made a big difference, but I will be honest, I still miss those days with just me and Ros. But, we are put in places in our lives for reasons we sometimes don't understand and I love my boys so much! And it gets easier for me to spend time with Ros the older the boys get. Joslyn will require a lot of your time at while she's little, but as she gets older you are able to have more time with Emma. Sorry such a long post, but I can totally relate to your feelings. Love ya!
this same thing kind of happened when my great grandpa died a couple months before i was born. my parents and grandparents always told me about him when i was little and told me how much they wished i couldve known him because he was the most excited for me to be born. my grandma told me when i was 2 yrs old, i was looking at a pic of him and told her that i knew him when i was in heaven and she never forgot that. :)
All I can say sweetie is it was probably a tug of war between your dad and Grandma Jennings and they will both be sad to see her leave them, and then of course there was your Grandma and Grandpa Mitchell braggin about how Joslyn is the cutest and smartest and your Grandma Mitchell saying "Emma needs this little sister, and everything will be okay"
Love you honey
MOM
It's totally normal to feel sad about not having just one child anymore to spend time with. I felt the same way. It is just a balancing act with two and even more so with more little munchkins. I have been thinking about you a ton lately with your upcoming delivery and your dad. What a crazy mix of emotions you must be feeling at this time. How sweet though that your little baby really will know your dad. You better call me when that baby comes!
This entry made me emotional. Good luck w/ your delivery. Let us know if you want visitors. I'd love to visit you and see your new little angel.
Such a sweet post! Good luck with the induction and I hope everything goes well with your delivery! I can't wait to see pics of the new baby girl!
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